It's Time To Put Down Those Heavy Bags (Feb 2024)

My ‘marido’ came across a picture on social media this morning of one of the 20th Century's greatest singers, Ella fitzgerald, jailed for singing to an integrated audience; officially for gambling…

The year was 1955. Ella was black.

Many years later, in 2018, I visited Wells' Built Museum of African American History and Culture in Orlando Florida, somewhere Ella Fitzgerald, among other notable stars of that era had stayed. The building was constructed as a hotel for African Americans during segregation. Oh yes, great artists could sing for the white population, but actually use the same facilities? Think again! Unfortunately scenarios such as those depicted in the film ‘Green Book’, that came out in the same year as I visited the museum, were all too common, which is why Victor Hugo Green, an African American, New York City postal worker, was responsible for the publication of the Travel Guide annually from 1936 to 1966.

Visiting the museum was an emotional experience and I was unable to hold back the tears as I asked the couple of ladies who were working there at that time how they, their families, friends and the African American population in general can move on from a shameful period of history that is well within living memory.

They told me that “You just have to”. And that “It's important to remember that there were many white people, an increasing number as social awareness grew, who fought against the racism and 'separate but equal' doctrine that existed at that time.”

In 1967 the film ‘Guess Who's Coming to Dinner' premiered. It starred, among others, Sidney Poitier, Spencer Tracey and Katherine Hepburn, and the drama takes place during the course of a few hours as two families struggle to overcome their concerns about an interracial marriage. Surprisingly it is not only the white middle class parents who are uncomfortable with the situation, as demonstrated by the family's black maid who does not believe the young African American doctor has a place amongst her white upper middle class ‘family’: “... just exactly what are you trying to pull here [ ] just out for all you can get. [ ] With your black power and all that other trouble making nonsense…”

There is also the ‘baggage’ that the father of Sidney Poitier's character carries around: “Dad, [ ] I love you [ ] but you think of yourself as a coloured man. I think of myself as a man…”


My ‘marido’ and I, being gay men who grew up in the 70's, 80's, and 90's, believe we have an idea of what that African American generation, portrayed by the father in ‘Guess Who's Coming To Dinner’, were (are) going through. The acceptance of same-sex relationships has changed remarkably in the decades since homosexuality was decriminalised in England and Wales in 1967. Those changes were happening as I grew up, yet I confess to not feeling completely comfortable in public physically expressing my love for my husband, even though our relationship has been nothing but supported by our family, friends and neighbours both in England and since we moved to Portugal.

It was the picture of Ella Fitzgerald's arrest which led to our discussion about ‘Guess Who's Coming To Dinner’ and our own baggage. We realised that if we'd been raising the generation below us, we too would have unconsciously handed over some of our emotional and social uncertainties about our place in society. We no doubt would have advised those younger people to be sensitive to other feelings by not holding hands in the street or kissing in public, advice which would have been given with the very best of intentions, and as with the the father of Sidney Poitier's character in the film, perhaps we each find it difficult to see ourselves only as ‘a man' …


I hope, and fully believe, that our nephews and nieces generation are more comfortable with showing their affection in public, and the generations below them perhaps will not even have terms such as ‘same-sex relationships', ‘gay’ or ‘straight’, since it is my opinion that these labels, which we often give ourselves, are divisive; two people in love should be just that.

Definitions of colour will doubtlessly take longer to disappear, but let's hope that they become as inoffensive and as innocent as describing somebody with ‘blonde hair' or ‘a beard and moustache’ …

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